Family Value

Hello again. :)
Something I have been learning recently, is how important it is for my children to feel valued and significant in my home. That it's crucial for them to know their rolls within the family, and that they, individually play an important roll as part of this family.

I have been noticing already throughout this school year, that Selah's attitude is beginning to blossom, and the flower that is being revealed is definitely not as lovely as it has been the last couple years. She has discovered the art of smirking when being disciplined. And boy does it come naturally. She has been exceedingly more and more difficult as the days go by. So last night after dinner I sat down and had a talk with her, (because she was so late for class they marked her as absent) about school and what's been going on so far this year. She informed me of certain events that have occurred that seriously shocked me. The entire class has been missing recesses because of their bad behavior. They all have been screaming and laughing at the teacher. And showing a level of disrespect that I just can't accept as a mother. We were having a conversation, no one was getting in trouble. She was being open with me about the things that were happening and I was listening to her words, and valuing what she was sharing with me. She then said "I didn't do any thing wrong, but I still got in trouble with the rest of the class."
I asked her how often this happens and she told me a lot, not every day but a lot.
What is going on with this generation that teachers can no longer retain control, and have lost all authority in this way.
I then asked her to tell me the truth, if she had taken part in this... the told me, "Not at first. I was really embarrassed at first. But I was getting in trouble for it anyways and yes, today I was laughing a little."
If Selah had been more secure in her self and who she is not only in our family but in morals, the pressure from her peers would not have been so easily shaken. She knew that behavior was unacceptable. And regardless of whether or not she was being disciplined for something she didn't do, she would have stood her ground.

Selah didn't get in trouble, but I did tell her I was disappointed that she would take part in disrespecting her teacher, and that she needed to apologize to her teacher for her part in it.
I also told her, that if her friends continued to have such an influence over her like this, that I would not hesitate to pull her right out and home school her because I love her and who she is too much to risk having her loving and beautiful personality given up to the crowd.
I told her that she was better than that. And I know she can do better. She then asked me something, with tears in her eyes that melted and overflowed my heart with compassion, she said "But how do you know that I'm better?"

It's so important that our kids SEE that they are valued and significant. They need to SEE it from us. They need to know that they are a valued member of their family, that their words are important and that they take part in the family. I told Selah as I scooped her up in my arms, "I know because I KNOW YOU. And I see who you are, and your good, kind and loving heart. You are part of this family. We all see you and know you." She started crying and I told her that the next time she thought she should join the rest of the kids in their bad behavior, that she should think about who she is, and to ask God to help her do the right thing, because she is better than that.
A child who knows who they are in their family circle, and who is valued, respected and significant in their family will be secure in who they are, and will not be easily swayed by a crowd of unruly peers. lol I am so proud of Selah. Even though she had one weak moment, I am confident that she is strong enough to stand firm.

Today my challenge is to listen and show my kids they are a valued member of this family.